Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
