When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize