Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
well you can't waste a boner
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
