marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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