i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
