R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
