dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
