Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Text me some of your sweat
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
