I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
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