it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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