After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
