i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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