guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
