I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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