covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
