Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Princesses don't give blow jobs
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
