I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
