I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
