Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
