Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
