You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
