He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Damn victory sex feels great
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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