I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
