12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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