I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
