my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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