I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
