dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
