how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
