This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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