I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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