I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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