Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
