If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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