You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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