What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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