You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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