I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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