he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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