Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize