party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
