Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
