He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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