My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
