when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
