This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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