some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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