Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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