I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
