It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
