this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
