What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
