Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
