HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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