Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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