Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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