Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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