Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize