I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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