I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
