I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
