The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
