At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You can't special order awesome
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
