i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
