idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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