I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
