Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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